A bullshit free guide to growing and maintaining very long hair

There are several billion articles available on the internet on the subject of growing your hair and keeping it healthy. However most of them are only half the story and/or an excuse for someone to boast about their hair. When I was growing my hair I spent hours trawling article after article despairing over how to protect my hair and maximise growth, eventually I just gave up and tried what seemed logical, hint ; it worked. Now I'm going to relay what I did, or rather didn't do in the small hope that maybe it'll work for someone else. To start with, here is a picture of most of my hair:

As you can see, my hair is very thick, naturally wavyish, blonde, has no layers and is about waist length in this picture and has been braided, it is now hip length. In this picture it looks a little frazzled as my friend had been trying out braids on it and it hadn't been brushed prior to the photo. I'm 162cm tall.

I don't have the perfect hair and I have never claimed so. My hair gets split ends, flyaways and all the rest, just as everyone else's hair does. I have merely managed to grow my hair long enough to reach my hips and keep it healthy and now I'm going to shove that information in this post. 

Leave it the fuck alone

This will either come as a "well duh" point or a "REALLY?!" point. Leave your hair the fuck alone, leave it alone. Brush it once or twice a day, braid it, and leave it alone. This will keep your hair protected from getting caught on things like zips or other snaggy bits on clothing or your surroundings. Don't over-style it, don't heat treat it, don't heat style it, don't use rubber bands in it, don't use anything that will catch in it, just leave it the fuck alone.  Try not to dye it either, that can strip the hair badly, particularly bleaching or dying dark colours. 

Oil is your friend

Don't wash your hair every day. Try not to even wash it every two days, I have no shame in saying I wash my hair on Wednesdays and Sundays and that's it. Every day I brush the natural oils through my hair to protect and nourish it and flip my hair over to my head is turned upside down, and massage my scalp to remove any dead skin or oil build up so as not to get scalp infections (the brush will also help with this). The massage will also increase blood supply to your scalp and stimulate growth. After massaging my scalp I brush my hair again and add argan oil to the lower half of my hair; This is a particularly useful and important step for those with very curly hair or persons of colour as curly hair types are less oily and need coconut oil or argan oil to nourish them. Coconut and Argan oil will also make your hair smell soooo nice. 

Deep moisturising treatments aren't a myth

Hair masks and coconut oil deep treatments aren't a money making scheme, they work wonders for your hair. You can go for the most practical option and heat some coconut oil then smear it all over your hair and leave it over night or you can buy a moisturising mask for in-shower use and use it once a week instead of your regular conditioner. You will feel the difference, your hair will be soft and renewed and most important of all; protected. 

You don't NEED to trim your hair every six weeks

Now this one is a super popular piece of advice "Oh if you trim your hair every three to six weeks you'll have lovely long healthy hair" Bull.Shit. Your hair grows at a rate of about 6 inches per year or 1.25cm a month. If you cut off 3cm-1 inch every six weeks, guess what, your hair will either stay the same length or will get shorter and shorter. If you take care of your hair you won't need to have it trimmed anywhere near as often, I think that this myth has sprung up from the heavy use of straightening and curling irons and treatments in the last 40ish years. These things will rip your hair to shreds obviously and you'll have to get all the frayed ends cut off. If you take care of your hair and don't over style it (i.e don't style it every day) then you will be able to have your hair cut whenever you feel it needs tidied up, I personally get mine cut about twice a year and my stylist is amazed by the condition when I come to her. 

You have no optimal length

Most of us have a length at which our hair slows it's rate of growth or appears to stop. I'm not denying that. However I do feel that when we care for our hair properly there is no stopping our rate of growth, for example when I bleached and dyed my hair frequently, backcombed and styled it every day my hair would only grow to shoulder length or a little longer, now I have hip length hair since I stopped attacking it. 

Looking after your inside is as important if not more important than looking after the outside 

What you put in to your body, food, drink, time and exercise make a world of difference to your hair and nails. Try supplements and vitamins if you're struggling to balance things with your body. Eat well and consult a nutritionist, I found I was lacking in a few key vitamins that were hindering my skin, hair and nails. Now that I eat a healthy balanced diet my hair has grown like rapunzel and my nails are long and strong too. 

I do hope that some of these quick pointers will help you on your journey to long healthy hair. 

 -Amaris-

How to: Goth in Winter for cold countries

There are about 6 million tutorials and how to's that tell you Goth fashion is easy in winter because of thick fabrics and layers abilities. This is true for the Americas, South Asia and warmer parts of Europe, Oceania and East Asia but if you live in Scandinavia, the UK or Eastern Europe you will know what I mean when I say that these articles do not apply. Snow began here in mid November and won't let up 'til February or March at least. I'm afraid layering a few waterfall cardigans over a velvet dress isn't gonna do much for me. So here is a quick run down of what I do when we get the annual snow fall and how I incorporate practical items in to my look without looking like the Michelin man.

Base Layers

Now, Base Layers just scream long johns and granddad shirts, but it doesn't have to be! I wear a skin tight thermal base layer under everything I wear in winter, I own several in black and even one in white. The general base of my outfits consist of a long sleeved thermal layer or two if it's really really cold, one being a tight woven fabric and the other being made of a cotton fabric with a larger weave pattern so air circulates around your body and you don't end up coated in sweat if you get a little too warm (come on,it's not gross it's happened to us all and then it gets cold when you go outside and you end up colder), two pairs of thermal tights with leggings over the top and thick woollen socks (usually calf or knee length).

(Amazon sport base layer)

First Layer/ 'Fashion Layer'

This layer is really what you'd wear otherwise just with numerous thin thermal layers underneath. So I normally wear skirts and dresses with tights and a cardigan in summer. In winter I wear longer dresses in materials like velvet, heavy cotton, canvas or dresses with layers and layers of tulle or lace so you have a bit of a wind break whilst still looking like yourself. I wear almost exclusively long sleeved Dark Star or Bäres tops or Dresses in winter with a few older Omen velvet pieces that work well for special occasions.

(Dark Star)

Second Layer/ Extra Warmth Layer

This layer is for us Scandinavians, "But wait!" you may cry "My friend Johannes goes out in the snow in Seattle in just shorts" Well that's because Johannes is an idiot, and because from my experience nowhere in the world gets quite as cold as Scandinavia* in winter (apart from maybe Berlin, holy shit Berlin you are one cold city in winter). I also personally have always really felt the cold even in my youth and now having a chronic pain condition I feel it more than ever.  So this next layer is where you put on your black fitted Fjällräven cardigan or jumper or your long thick wool cardigan and give yourself a little extra protection from the biting ice wind.
*Sweden can be pretty survivable in winter

(Fjällräven hoodie, very warm and widely available in Scandinavia and online. I know there is a store in Oslo on your way down to the Port)

(Modcloth cardigan)

Outer Layer

I wear a Hot Tuna ski jacket in winter, it's duck down and really keeps me comfortably warm. If I want to look presentable I wear a floor length Wool, silk lined coat I had made by The Dark Angel (http://www.thedarkangel.co.uk/). Due to not wearing bulky layers I can still look nice and wear nice jackets in Winter whilst keeping warm against the elements. I wear New Rocks or knee length black leather boots at this time of year too.

(This is the exact jacket I wear when I want to look put together in Winter, it's wool and super warm. The company it's by are called Dark Angel and are based in the UK)

(This Hot Tuna jacket is the exact one I wear in Autumn/Winter. It's an amazing Ski Jacket)

Extras

Earmuffs look nicer and more sophisticated than hats in my opinion, invest in a good pair of gloves that you know look good and will keep you warm and a thick warm scarf that you can bury your face in against a snow storm or wind.

Good luck this winter, have a 'God Jul' with your family and friends and make sure to keep warm and look after yourself as the yearly flu season starts.

  Amaris

Desert Island Discs

I like to have a little light interlude after every major rant just to balance out the grump, so I decided to pick my Desert Island Discs because I'm old as fuck and I should know what I like listening to by now. I'm going to do two because I can, one for metal and one for everything else. So if I was interviewed by Terrorizer (I wish) I would give one answer and everywhere else another because lets face it no one really cares what blackened folk metal I've dug up from the depths of Finland.

So first, Everything else:

1 The Cure-Disintigration

2 They Might Be- Giants Flood

3 Pixies- Doolittle

4 Morrissey -Bona Drag

5 Gin Blossoms -New Miserable Experience

6 Live- Throwing Copper

7 Pearl Jam -Ten

8 Faith No More -Angel Dust


Metal

1 Obituary -Cause of Death

2 Burzum -Aske

3 Darkthrone -A Blaze in the Northern Sky

4 Finntroll -Ur Jordens Djup

5 Korpiklaani- korven kuningas

6 Pantera- reinventing the steel

7 Death -Symbolic

8 Sleep -Holy Mountain



Honourable Mentions

Alice in Chains Dirt

Levellers Mouth to Mouth

Type O Negative October Rust

Alkaline Trio

Antony and the Johnsons

Sigur ros

Jeff Buckley

Dimmu Borgir

Goth music from the beginning (Late 70's through present)

A personal top 40 of Goth and Post-Punk music from the late 70's 'til now. So many people have misconceptions about what Goth music is and honestly you can dress in whatever fashion you want and not listen to the music that goes with it but it's handy in Goth to know where we started and the influence of Post-Punk and Deathrock. It's good to know what Goth originally sounded like rather than presuming Goth Metal and Industrial is all there is. I'm going to split it into 4 lots of 10; Post-Punk (late 70's/80s), Deathrock (80's/early 90's), Goth Rock and EBM(90's/00s), Shoegaze and Bonus stuff; these are all VERY loose categories and not all the bands are going to fit neatly into the descriptions. The bonus few bands that I feel are popular amongst my more gothically inclined circles but aren't necessarily considered 'Goth', pseudo-Goth music shall we say.

Post-Punk:

1. The Cure
2. Joy Division
3. Theatre of Hate
4. Cabaret Voltaire
5. Bauhaus
6. Echo & The Bunnymen
7. The Teardrop Explodes 
8. Killing Joke
9. Siouxsie and The Banshees
10. Sisters of Mercy

Deathrock:

1. Christian Death 
2. Sex Gang Children
3. Specimen
4. Alien Sex Fiend
5. 45 Grave 
6. Southern Death Cult 
7. Virgin Prunes
8. Fear Cult 
9. Kommunity FK
10. Skeletal Family

Modern Goth and EBM: 

1. Wumpscut 
2. Front 242  
3. Elegant Machinery 
4. Mors Syphilitica 
5. Sopor Aeternus 
6. Die Krupps 
7. Nine Inch Nails 
8. Ministry 
9. Combichrist (early stuff) 
10. Skinny Puppy

Shoegaze and Bonus stuff: 

1. Cocteau Twins
2. The Jesus and Mary Chain 
3. My Bloody Valentine
4. The Smiths 
5. Sonic Youth 
6. The Velvet Underground
7. The Housemartins
8. Hothouse Flowers
9. R.E.M
10. New Order

Of course this is not everything amazing from these genres, as it's only 10 songs, but it's a condensed idea of what we came from.

Your life choices do not make you any less of a person.

So many times I have heard the same thing 'You'd be sooooo pretty if you toned down your makeup, and took all those piercings out." "Is that real? Does that go ALL the way through? OH MY GOD Why did you do that? Didn't that hurt? Will it go back? You're crazy, that's disgusting, I think I'm gonna be sick" "Why do you have fangs? are those your actual teeth? oh my god do you have them every day?" "It's not Halloween anymore" "It's too early for Halloween" "HAHAHA! WHO LET DRACULA OUT?!" And so on and so forth, you get the jist. Why is it acceptable to say that to me, but no one would make a comment to the girl in the crop top and mini skirt with half her dyed hair shaved? we both look different, we're both out of the ordinary. The difference is that they can identify with her, she likes to show her body off, and she should be allowed to do that and feel proud, and they've all worn something revealing on a night out. She's beautiful and should be able to wear what she wants safely but I should be able to look how I want in peace too. The difference is that they don't feel threatened by her, she is relatable and nice to look at, she's normal to them. When they see me, something primal inside screams 'SCARY', they see my clothing which is usually elaborate and black and that screams 'weird', they see my fangs and that screams 'threat' to them, they see that I wear my makeup differently to them; not any more or less maybe but differently and that tells them that I am ugly. I am ugly and scary, things that are a threat to their equilibrium and they take it as a personal insult that I have chosen to be this way. By 'they' I mean those who choose to say those things to me of course, not everyone on the planet. When people ask me what my job is they can never believe that I am an educator. It's always the same question "But don't the kids get scared of you?!" No. They don't. They think I'm great. So fuck you.

We are not born with prejudice, we are all born into this world without hate. It is our environment and our influences that make us fearful and hateful. I teach people from all backgrounds and of all ages, I am a tutor and am hired by individuals to tutor them. I am sought after because my reputation is good; they know I can do my job. The people who employ me could care less if I had three heads and breathed fire, as long as I was able to work with them to suit their needs and to impart the information they required. They don't see me as ugly, they see me as a bank of information and a friendly smile. My life choices, be it my career or my clothing, do not affect anyone else. I didn't choose to become a mass murderer, I didn't choose to throw my fashion in everyones face, so who I am and what I look like are 100% not anything to do with anyone else. My makeup, my piercings and modifications don't hurt anyone, my parents are supportive and think the same way I do: Your body is a blank canvas, do what makes you happy. In saying all this, how we should all have the right to be safe and feel safe in public without people aggressively making comments or stopping you in the street, everyone is entitled to an opinion, and as long as that opinion is well thought out and they have a good reason for it, they are entitled to have that opinion and voice it if they wish. I have some unpopular opinions and I choose to voice them but in a way that doesn't hurt anyone, I don't think anyone should have to hold back how they feel UNLESS those opinions are blatantly attacking someone for absolutely no reason other than you consider them lesser and therefore think you're entitled to hurt them. You can dislike my hair, you can tell me that, you can dislike my face, and you tell me that if you wish although it'd be a bit unusual, but if you're coming up and just tearing into me about everything and questioning my motives for my entire life, then and only then will I draw a big line and tell you your actions are not right.

  Long story short; I look this way, many others look a different way or a similar way, we should all have the right to coexist and be happy with ourselves. That doesn't mean we can't or won't judge, we all do, anyone who claims to be completely without judgement of others is lying and will probably do everything in their power to cover up that blatant lie and usually end up judging others in the process. That is how humans are, society is, but that doesn't mean we must attack one another for things we deem to be abnormal or scary. I'm not ugly, I'm not scary, I'm a human being who happens to look a bit like one of Poe's nightmares, but I chose to look this way and I think I'm beautiful this way, that is all that matters. So basically- have your opinions, but don't use them to damage others.

                                                                           -Amaris-