Happy?

Are you happy?
Are you sure?
Have you checked that you locked the door,
to that small box in your mind where your love for him lies?
Are you going to make excuses forever,
For why you never searched for better?
That you didn't want to start anew and find someone who truly loved you
That you were too old, too tired, too far in
Over your head, the waves of doubt still pool around you
20 years deep in something that never brought you joy
At first a toy for an unoccupied young boy
You've become an option he never chooses
A path he never walks
A chance he never takes
Are you happy?
Are you sure?